Earth Day Awards 2014

The “Waste not, Want not” Award goes to Portland, Oregon for draining 38 million gallons of treated water from an open air reservoir due to intentional contamination. Treated water, in an open air reservoir can apparently have unintentional contamination.

The “Save What’s Left of the Planet” Award goes to Ivanapah solar, wind turbines and various other solar installations for the wonton killing of birds, bats, and butterflies all in an effort to save the planet. The birdless, batless, butterfly-less planet.

The “Cyber Threat “Award goes to Google for killing the planet with internet searches.

The “We Didn’t Think of That” Award goes to ethanol subsidies and mandates, which apparently raised the price of corn above that paid for land conservation, resulting in areas previously conserved now plowed up and planted with corn.

The “I’m So Confused” Award goes to shopping bags. Paper was bad–it killed trees. Plastic was better. Wait…..plastic came from oil and lasted forever in landfills and along roadsides. Use reusable shopping bags. Wait, those can harbor bacteria and may be made overseas where environmental regulations are non-existent. So….don’t by groceries?

The “Waste of Valuable Resources” Award goes to the EPA for suggesting the grain left over from beer distillation should not be used for cattle feed. No suggestions on what it could be repurposed for, however. Surely the EPA isn’t suggesting just to dump it in a landfill? Maybe the EPA just hates cows.

The “Who Thought This was a Good Idea” Award goes to England for buying wood pellets from America and shipping across the ocean to burn as biomass because that pollutes less and is sustainable.

It’s all about saving the planet we all share. Let’s hope we make it to Earth Day 2015 with much less “help” for the planet.